Kids Say the Funniest Things, Part II
As promised, here we go, following up with YOUR submissions for my September blog. Thank you, contributors!
(To make a comment, click on the title and scroll to the bottom.)
From Hannah’s four/five-year-old students:
When I was reviewing safety, I discussed red, yellow, and green traffic lights with my students, asking such questions as “What do you think a red light means?” and so on. They all correctly answered STOP, SLOW, and GO. But one young boy interjected, “No, on yellow, you have to go super-fast. That’s what my daddy does!”
When talking with our kindergartners about what they wanted to be when they grew up, one little girl said she would like to be a teacher. Another little boy spoke up and asked, “Why would you want to be a teacher? They don’t make any money!”
One youong girl shared with classmates how bad her daddy’s farts smelled. “They smell so bad my mom makes him go into another room for five minutes!”
My niece was about three-years-old. We were all getting ready to go somewhere for the day. Her father picked her up in his arms and gave her the “marching orders” for the day, saying, “Now don’t be a pain in my back side!” She looked up at him, puzzled, and said, “How can I, when I’m on your front side?”
Just before she turned two, my daughter brought her coloring book and crayons to the living room and started coloring on our new couch. As she colored, her crayon slipped off the page and made a line. She caught my eye, knowing she wasn’t supposed to be coloring near the new couch, but I was nursing a newborn. I said, “Now what are we going to do about this?” She didn’t skip a beat, but looked at the mark as the lightbulb moment came, and said, “Want me to make it an ‘X’?
When this same daughter was 2 ½, she had learned how to unbuckle her car seat. I was driving and was aware she’d unbuckled it. I said, “Are you going to get back in your seat and get buckled or am I going to have to put this car in park and spank you?” She replied, “I don’t want you to spank me, but I would like to go to the park!”
When my daughters were three and five, I told them they could have their ears pierced. My three-year-old listened intently as I had tried to explain what the lady at the beauty shop would do. I mentioned that the piercer would shoot a hole in each ear. As we were walking from the car to the shop, my daughter asked, “How far back do I have to stand? Bang!”
Right before my granddaughter turned four, she was telling her one-year-old brother a really long story about Jesus’s birth in “Beflehem”. She said in a dramatic voice, “And Mary and Joseph were so poor that they didn’t even have a remote for their TV!”
My son-in-law asked for a s’more. Luke, age ten, and Layla, age four, went to the kitchen and didn’t return. Glen asked, “Luke, where’s my s’more?” Luke came back to his dad and said, “Well, you see my job was to break the graham crackers into squares and her job was to break the chocolate, but so far her best one looks like Idaho, so I’m still waiting.”
From Aunt Mary:
My little great-grandson, Landon, has a tender heart, and he recognizes that I’m getting old! He looks at my old hands, hugs me, and says, “That’s okay, Mimi, because I’ll always take care of you.” Landon says the sweetest blessings at mealtimes. After he thanks God for all the food, living things, and fun things, then he gives thanks for his family. But he always looks around the table so that he doesn’t miss anyone!
I run a daycare in my home and my young children say funny things from time to time. Quinn, age 4, was staring at her breakfast plate one morning, not eating. I asked her if everything was okay. She replied, “I have dreams, you know!”
Tyler, age 3, informed me one day that he couldn’t help pick up the toys. I asked him why. “My arms are taking a nap!”
CJ, age 3 accidentally poked herself in the eye. She exclaimed, “Ow–my eye! I didn’t know where my hand was going, but I guess it wanted to poke me in the eye.”
When our daughter Lara was little, she was threading a belt through the loops of her jeans. She commented, “Mommy, I can’t get my belt through these boot lips.” She meant, of course, to say belt loops. Ever since, in our family, belt loops have been “boot lips.”
Our son Ryan was very young when one evening his daddy called to let me know he would be late getting home from work. After I hung up the phone, I turned to the kids and said, “Your daddy is tied up at work.” In a few minutes I noticed Ryan’s chin quivering and tears forming in his eyes. “Who tied up Daddy at work?” he asked.
A funny remembrance of a telephone conversation with my grandson, Tommy, about three-years-old at the time: